Roommates part 1

I have had roommates before, freshman year of college I had two roommates in a forced triple and then I roomed with a friend during my sophomore year, plus when ever I went to camps and such and we had to share rooms them. Now usually I’m fine with roommates, we all get along and I make some new friends.

The same can not be said for my time in DC.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they have complaints about me too, I don’t even think for a second that I am the best person to live with, but I will still voice my complaints. First off, there were three of us living in a forced triple, which cool I’ve done that before and I could do it again. I was mistaken.

On move in day I got to our place first, so first come first served I got to pick my room. There were two rooms, one with one bed and no windows and another with windows but to beds. I chose the one with no windows and started to unpack. A while later I met my first roommate, so privacy sake we will call her Rose.

Now Rose had her mother to help her move in and they were very nice people, but then they noticed that there were only two rooms and the one left had two beds in it. When registering for the room, I figured something like this would happen because of the description on the GW website, Rose on the other hand did not. So to fix the “problem” of having two beds in a room, Rose and her mother moved the other bed into the living room. Which is connected to the entry way and the kitchen. I chose to stay in my closet bedroom and just left things happened, A few hours later Mary, my other roommate arrived. She like Rose, had been shocked by the living arrangements, especially since her bed was in the living room, and this led to our first roommate meeting. It went something like this.

Rose: I just can’t believe we don’t all get our own rooms! This is not what they advertised on the website.

Mary: I know right.

Me: *In my head* This is exactly what the advertised. 

Me: *Out loud* Yeah, well I guess we’ll just have to make the most of it.

Rose: *To Mary* Since Lillian already chose the other room, my mom and figured that the way this room *points to her room* would not work, so we moved you bed out to the living room. It should be fine since you have a lot of natural light and stuff, I hope you don’t mind.

Mary: Well, it should be fine. I’m sure we can work something out.

Rose: Oh I know! We can work out a rotation chart and change rooms every so often!

Mary: Oh that’s a brilliant idea.

Me: *blinks, forces a smile, mumbles something about unpacking, walks back into my room away from the nonsense.*

I am happy to report that we did not make a rotation system.



Home again

It has been about four days since I came back home to Texas and y’all I missed this place. When comparing living in the city to the suburbs there are a lot of differences and I could instantly see them when I got out of the airport.

First big difference, highways. Yes they are a thing in DC but in DFW, taking the highway is (on a good day) the quickest way to get from Dallas to Fort Worth. Which means a car is a necessary part of life. Now I will miss the not having to drive myself everywhere and not spending gas money, but when I think about how much I spent to fill my metro card and how much I spend on gas it’s basically the same amount.

Another difference is that compared to DC at least, Fort Worth is a little bit greener. We are no where close to being a concrete jungle so there are plains and grass and trees just about everywhere; and yes that means allergies are a gift from the devil but hey at least it all looks pretty. Now I will miss how close everything was and that I could literally just walk everywhere but one thing I am happy to have back is some damn good hispanic food.

DC, your great and all but y’all don’t know how to make tacos and that in itself is tragic. In fact, when my boyfriend picked me up from the airport his mom sent him with a bag of conchas for me. I almost cried, it had been months since I had conchas. I missed them so much.  But not as much as I missed my friends and family (ha, bet ya didn’t think I’d get to them did ya?).

I did make good friends with people while in DC, it wasn’t the same as the ones that I have here. I love my DC friends but we only had two and a half months to get to know each other. For me, it can sometimes take time for me to build really strong relationships. I’m friendly with just about everyone, but the friends and family that I have in Texas are the people that I know I can trust. I think the big reason for this was because I knew that my time in DC wasn’t permanent. Since I wasn’t planning on staying in DC long term I didn’t feel the need to set up roots. That will probably change in the future when I actually do move to a more permanent place but until then, I’m just happy to be home.

Upcoming Posts

To whom it may concern:

I know that not many read this blog, but I just thought I should post this because I can. Anyway, I did an internship this summer, and I though that I would be able to post about my time in DC more. BUT it turns out that I was way busier than I thought. So, be prepared, because in these upcoming weeks/days I will be posting about some of my adventures that I had this summer. So buckle up buttercups, it’s gonna be an interesting ride.

Week Three in DC

It has been like three weeks since I posted to this and it has literally been because I have been go go going since I got here. My mentor got back and she is so sweet and cool. Also the Renwick Gallery is AMAZING. There is a piece called Ghost Clock and OH MY GOD IT IS SO COOL!

The other part of this internship is that I have been walking everywhere and having a lot of private mini adventures. Where I live is pretty close to the monuments and I’ve taken to using my free time on the weekends for going to museums and walks on my own and bringing my art supplies. So far my time here has been really nice.

Day One and Done

Today was the day, my first day working as an official Smithsonian American Art Museum intern and it was fantastic!

I was able to navigate the metro just fine and actually got to work early, which was good since we had a meeting for us stipend kids. So I got to meet my fellow interns and they are all pretty nice. Since my mentor is on vacation this week, I have been left with a binder of things to do this week as well as what my tasks will be for the remainder of the summer. After looking it all over I filled what I needed into my planner and then went on a gallery tour of SAAM to better familiarize myself with some of the art I will be working with.

While today was pretty chill, I am not going to delude myself into thinking that is how the rest of my summer will be. What I am doing (which I will not directly discuss on here because I’m not to sure if I can yet) is going to take a lot of hard work and (hopefully) some research. Yeah, you read that right, I want to have to do some research for this. But hey, you would to if you had access to the Smithsonian Library and Archives, plus whatever online resources they have. Ever since I wrote that one term paper for my art history class, I have found myself getting more and more into the research side of art history. Personally, I do not see a problem with this.

Anyway, back to my first day. The gallery tour I went on was my first time setting foot in SAAM and let me tell you, there is a whole tone of art. Since my mentor out this week, I talked to my psedo-mentor and she agreed with me that going off for a bit each day this week and exploring the museum would be beneficial. Then on Wednesday, I’m going on a gallery tour of the Renwick Gallery. I’ll try to upload photos of the things I see but for now you’ll just have to imagine it or go to the museum’s websites.

Start of something new

I made it to DC and I made it to my dorm. I’ve walked around the city, found a rout to work, and I have a semi layout of how things work in getting around the city. That is all to say that I am still terrified about my new found independence and I’m starting to doubt everything that I know.

I got to college like 20 minuets away from my house, so this, living in DC by myself and having to fend and manage for myself is my first time living on my own. Sure I have roommates but my parents are literally a 4 hour flight away instead of a call away. But it’s not al bad, since I have a stipend that will help with paying for things and such. Hopefully this first week will go well.

Wish me luck!

Mental Abuse

I have a hard time believing that I’m wanted or like some days. There is this voice in my head and it says some of the shittiest things. It makes me doubt all the connections that I’ve made with people, tells me that they don’t care about me and that I annoy everyone and I just need to leave them alone. This voice makes life hard sometimes and a lot of days I just want to scream and cry. The shittiest thing about all of this, I didn’t always have this voice.

In high school I was a theater kid, I was okay performance wise but tech theater wise, I was in my element. I like creating new worlds on stage and figuring out quick ways to make props. Tech theater gave me a purpose, but for some reason I stuck with taking the performance theater classes and I still have yet to recover. This was three years ago and I’m still not over what was done to me.

Our teacher played favorites and no matter what I did, no matter how much of my time and money I sacrificed for the theater department I was never a favorite. Once I was helping paint a set, but I had to use a stencil to paint a pattern on a wall. It turned out slightly crooked. In response, in front of three other classes including my own, my teacher yelled at me, “It’s ruined! You’e ruined the entire show.” No one stood up for me, she never apologized and after that day I became the punching bag of the theater department. I was literally told my ideas where stupid, people called me a bitch to my face, all of my imperfections where pointed out to me, and one moment they would be nice to me and the next they would be spiteful and I had no idea what I had done to deserve that treatment. When ever I did anything big in my life, like get into my first choice of college or obtain an internship at a local theater, the theater department would brush it off like it was nothing.

The worse slap in the face was my senior year. I had essentially directed, designed, choreographed, and promoted my senior show.  In fact, everyone loved the show despite the fact that my cast just barley put it together after deciding to take a week off instead of practicing. At the end of the year, at the theater banquet I got nothing. No senior gift, no recognition, and everyone, including my teacher was fine with that. I cried that night and when I came to college, I realized that I had been mentally abused for four years.

The thing with mental abuse is that it takes a while to heal. No one told me that I would be stuck with a voice telling me everything wrong I was doing. No one tole me that I would doubt if anyone, my friends, my family, even my boyfriend even wants me around. No one told me that I would have days were I want cry and run away. No one told me that it would be hard to talk about this to my friends. No one told me that I would be triggered by the smallest things. No one told me that I would spend countless hours of my life working to make sure I didn’t let anyone down.

Even writing this post is hard and I can’t help but think, maybe this is my fault. I don’t want to post this but I need to get these words out somewhere, I need to just explain what is happening with me and hope that I’m not crazy.